If I were to tell the truth

I'm still hiding
Still behind here
With the mask on my face
A smile, or rather
An emotionless paste
Upon this face

I'm still numb here
Still feeding myself ice
Chilling these weak veins
And letting this heart remain cold

For any flame to touch-
Even the smallest space-
Of all this-
Burns-
Burns, burns, burns-
And in haste
I assume the worst

The feelings of pleasure-
Are pain
The feelings of love-
Are pain
The feelings of having that love returned-
Are the worst kinds of pain!

I have let:
Ice,
Blood,
Scars,
Wounds,
Hatred,
Envy,
Anger, and
Hunger-
Become the only things real to me

This is all I know.

And I do not see the evil within this monster anymore
This hateful, ugly creature
Is more beautiful to me, than I could ever say

For it is me
As much as it is my nightmare
And it needs to be embraced

It can save itself
It can run and fight
But it can't be left alone

For we...

We are meant to be cherised.