Another passing mood

To stop the hallowed, hollowed ground

Sinking beneath the surface

The covering floor

Hardly serves its purpose

It cannot simply be

A lack of peace

Moments of unease

A passing passion

A madness

That creeps along the spine

Infects the nerves and feelings

Seeps into the brain

A killing infection

White and soothing

Tablet and water

But is it alright to rely on such?

Frenzy and tears

Still spring to the surface

Disturb the calm

Upsets the peace

Fractures the healed pieces

Needing so little to be high

So easily pulled low

Craving numb and calm

No matter the unhappiness

Is it alright to be happy?

But to continue to have moments so sad?

Moments of madness?

Solidity and Possibility

Hello my Earth, my quiet ground

Sometimes so solid, so cold

You cannot look up into the sky

Hello my Air

My winged one, so fair

You fly too far and seem to never look down

My love, do I upset you?

My love, do I drive you mad?

We are such opposites, opposing forces

But I need you- I need you

I want you- I want you

Do we fly or walk?

Let's find both ways.

For Mark

I am your muse

Your love

Your reason to be better

You make me smile

Cry

Laugh

Sigh

You also remind me of the pain

You remind me of the sadness

But you remind me, and make me see the possibilities

I sometimes resent you

Sometimes regret you

But only in passing

I love you

So completely

I can see beyond Now with you.

(P.S. I apologise for taking such a long time to update, it was simply not the right time for me. I was wondering whether to continue this blog of poetry, it seemed pointless for awhile. But, I need it more than I need for others to care about it, because I care about it. I hope though, if you read this, you are touched by it.)

What You Taught Me

They can see you,

Perceive and analyse

Assume that such beauty is a great gift

Captivation and mystery

Only last for moments

When grounded by the physical

The most vivid eyes, seem dulled with blindness

The smoothest porcelain like skin, flakes and peels with rot

The heavenly sounds of a voice, go mute

The first picture turns to dust

Because nothing goes beyond the flat image

Let beauty become one's aura

The words one speaks

The thoughts in one's head

The feelings that float through one's heart

This becomes everlasting captivation and mystery

Love

Hope

You know what I hope for?

That even when I fall, I have the strength to pick myself off the ground.

And that those closet to me, still love me even when I'm damaged.

Declaration

Many girls dream of their Prince Charming

And their Knight in Shining Armour

The man who can hold them with impossible strength and power

For they are weak, undeveloped and unsure

They want to be taken on the adventures they hear others speak of

Dream of and wish for

They want power and crave strength

But think it is not something for them

Others settle for simple thrills

Momentary pleasure and passing passions

Empty and tiresome

Needing no Knight, no Dark One, no Prince

I just want The One beside me

As we go on together

And if he is not strong enough to take me on adventures

Then hold on to my hand and I'll take You.

Botany

Praying on blue roses for impossible wishes

Cherry blossoms are a fog at the edge of my dreams

Forget-me-nots a shade of violet that impress on memory

Poppies are a gloomy end

And the language of the flowers

Make me think of England

When you've seen their beauty

Then learn all their flaws

And can say:

"I think I love you more"

Just a thought

Can I be your siren?

Your secret angel,

Your shining star,

Your light?

Because you're mine.

Some interesting news

So, I decided to gather lots of my poems into one manuscript and try to get it published. I am also gathering together my random writings (paragraphs, essays, plain journal entries, etc.) as another manuscript.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I should arrange it? I was thinking of themes or chapters, but so far I have simply been going by the most recent date, and working backwards. Also, does anyone know who I should talk to about this? Any suggestions would be really nice to hear. Thanks everyone.

A childhood regret

I regret losing the confident person I was.

I knew I could do so much.

I still think there are things I can do, but I only think.

And some days, the voice is so quiet, I can't believe I can hear it.

Robotic Heart, Cyber Eye

Inside this hallow

It has hidden

For decades, years and centuries

This little portal

A place where all pleasure lies

To crave and touch

An animal or human thing?

To watch and wait

As a passionate nature flairs

To be watched and admired

A sedate nature rocks the core

This simple blend

Earth and Fire

Grows and Burns

Does it work?

Does it combine well?

Who knows?

I still think I'll burn you.

(Written July 10, 2010)

Confusion

Recognise me

Look at me

Beyond the shadow of a doubt

The mirror on your wall

No constraints

No wishes

Nothing between us

I curse you

I bless you

I wish you well

Yet you do not know all that passes through here

A tyrant

A treasure

A pleasure in my pain

I've given you nothing

I ask you for everything

A spot unholy

A ritual to spend

To mark this time

A s spent

First blood

First light

First darkness in the sky

First sorrow

First peace

First way to eternity

Give me your hate

I'll turn it into shame

I'll never let it hurt

And I'll never let you win

Narcissist

Evil

Flop

Thank you.

(Written July 7, 2010)

Waiting, Searching

Waiting or searching

What does that say about a person?

There are those who are waiting for something

And those who are searching

And they are all different.

But is there a difference between the two?

For those who search-

Are waiting to find something

And those who wait-

Are searching for the right thing to pass in front of their eyes

Waiting and searching...

And when it has arrived-

Has been found

Will we recognize it?

(Written July 3, 2010)

Flash and strain

What would it take

To burn out the shadow reversed

Hate

In one's mind?

Unforgiving memories-

Moments

Of perfect pointlessness

Disregard

Conceit

A little child clings

Ripping open

Inside-

And without

The marks and the scars

Feel it!

See it!

This is what you do to me!

You millions of staring eyes!

Eyes... eyes

Haunting and flashing

Through and around me

A fascination and obsession

Stemming from hatred

I enjoy that which hurts me-

Poisons and destroys me.

For I will always be the destroyer

To my own light and happiness

If that be the only control I possess

Than let me possess it!

(Written on July 2, 2010... things have changed...)

Silver Eyed

Inside here

Foggy and indistinct

A place to run to

Alone and calm

Forever comfortable in alone

And I'll always want to hide in here

Watching those unfocused eyes

Away in a place

Unreachable and distant

Beside me but not there

Where I can no longer touch her

Though her body remains

Next to me

Possessed and unpossessible

This be a dilemma or curse

A blessing in a vague, false world

And a way to remain alright in self

Though 'self' be vague and far away

A Wisp at Night

Unstitched doll

Broken feathered bird

Jagged glass

No longer

At the Start of Day

It is in the clarity of the light- of- day

That everything makes sense

It is only at night

During the fog of fear

Of the shrouded mind

That even the most simple beings

Become skewed

Wait for the light.

On the Last Night

Put yourself to sleep with bad memories

Drug yourself with evil

Into heavy sleep

Stinging dreams

Ease yourself into rest

A quiet place

A tired mind

Where ideas for art

Sweet pictures in your head

Float in bizarre dreams

All beside you.

A moment

I'll never let another person

Swallow my tears for me

There are too many

That drip from these scarred fingertips

And glisten in the one light

I ever let shine on myself

But another has had to watch them

And is says more about-

Myself-

My state-

That I would allow this intrusion

And not cave into the hole

Buried inside

I've soared and crashed in moments

Been heavy on the ground then flew

And it's a sorrow and happiness

That constantly-

Soothes-

Attacks-

And makes due

Tell me if there's something I must do

To stop it-

To fight it-

or is it simply about

Being free to live it

Do I just live it?

Can I just live it?