Thursday, May 3, 2007

May 3, 2007

Alright, it's time to get personal: I am on anti- depressants. There. I said it. I'm on anti- depressants (at least they're not anti- psychotics... yet). Doesn't stop it from being embarrassing and scary. You know, there's a 2% chance that this medicine will just aggravate the problem? Possibly making me suicidal? I can even develop tardive dyskinsia- which are uncontrollable body tremors? So fucked! And I'm not supposed to worry. Nope. I won't worry. I'm too scared and depressed to be worried.

But I have hope. My therapist (whom I actually like) suggested that I write down three achievements a day. Just to get out of this Godawful mind frame I'm in now.
So here goes...

1. I finished the movie Pollock (obviously, about Jackson Pollock) in art class.

2. Able to finally bar power chords (on a guitar) decently.

3. Arranged to talk with my uncle to discuss living with him, my aunt and my two cousins.

Not sure that made me feel better yet. I guess I want more time to decide if this works for me.
By the way, I'm going to start writing here at least three times a week...

And hold me to that.

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