Sunday, January 17, 2010


The Moth Girl is crying-
"It has been too long to succeed!"
"We are all failures now and it's too scary to proceed!"

"Shut up, Shut Up, SHUT UP!"

Angry is yelling to her in my head.
"I swear I'll do it!
"Don't think I won't"

"Let's run from here-
Hide away-
Become a Warrior, a Knight, a Pirate, a Sorcerer."
Of course, The Black Prince has to have his say.
"Let's find somewhere fun to be!"


Crazy's point is a point- of a blade.

The Red Queen is silent.
As I wish her to be.
But sometimes...
I want her to come out
I want her to play with me-
Nobody understands what it means to crave nothing!
Nobody wants nothing!
And is it me who is saying this-
Or The Red Queen?

Monday, January 11, 2010


The Brave One is this odd movie. Where it has a quiet, self-reflective quality while also having the loud action- because it is a vigilante movie. And there are moments where you see utter love played out physically, contrasted with violent, beating death.
Why write this? Because there is a moment within the first hour, where the heroine(?) reflects on discovering that other person within. And I realise that for some, it takes a single dramatic climax, to change how you think of yourself. Where you know you are not by yourself inside. And for others, it is lots of smaller events, compounded upon each other, that breaks open that wall inside. And for a smaller amount of people... that wall never existed.

A Call to Activism

I feel a cause!
I feel a cause stirring within me
To reach out and take the flame in hand
To reach out and share what light I possess
I am lucky
I am blessed
I want to connect
Is there a cause?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Angry List and Poem

What to do when one has become, numb, mad and filled with seething sadistic rage:
- listen to much Kittie and Emilie Autumn
- write odd poetry in your journal
- avoid sleep or sleep too much
- watch the 2009 miniseries Alice
- fantasize about murder
- dream up all the art projects you want to accomplish
- attempt said art projects
- discover interesting mental illnesses
- avoid sharp objects!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Doris' Secret

I have called myself 'shameless' for writing in here and publishing what I have to say- maybe because I feel that one's secrets should be just that: private pieces of information, wisdom and knowledge that remain in the head of whoever thought them up. That makes them less potent... less dangerous and maybe, I just don't like to share. But there is something to be said to letting this get out there and having people I don't know read it. This isn't really my idea but reading Doris (this fabulous zine by Cindy Crabb) made me remember how much fun it can be to tell secrets to people that you've only just met and will never see again. And maybe, it's nice to know that perhaps this could reach someone that needs a prompt to tell their secrets. As I said, they are dangerous, sometimes.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

5 o'clock

You know, I've always thought that these moments- when it's 5 am and I haven't slept yet- where I fantasize and run and dream and draw... I always thought they were useless. But I just realised what they've done: without these moments, I wouldn't have discovered those others in me: the Warrior, the Avenging Angel (not just the Cherubic Angel), The Vampire- who will take what she needs, the Visionary Alchemist.
They were discovered in the dark of night- they are born of the Dark.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Star

It seems as though this blog is entirely self confessional- like I just want some attention. Maybe we live in a society where we say we are 'advocating' for others, when in rally just want some sympathy, or maybe we want to expose all that Shadow-yness in ourselves, so all the light- the good stuff- is what we're really made of. Just a thought for all those who have decided that this decade should be black, but could be light.

2010: The Year of St. Trinian's

I started this year quietly... and it seems that this was a better solution. I wonder if starting the year loudly just sets you up for an opposing year. Like it can only getter louder, messier and more exciting from here on out.

If there was ever an inspiration to every female Warrior (an archetypal pattern), it's the series of drawings and movies - though I've only seen the 2007 version - St. Trinian's. It is my inspiration.