Thursday, January 25, 2007

January 25, 2007

There's only one, selfish reason I want a child... I want to have someone distract me from myself. I want to not think of myself... not be with myself... forget about myself.

I find inspiration in myself but after awhile, I get tired of it.

I wonder if everyone else is tired of it, as well?

I feel the heat on my face of the fire but it just makes me sweat too much. Sometimes, when I'm close enough... It nearly singes my eyelashes.

But I still remain this cold beauty. And yes- I won't lie, I'm aware that on the outside, I am beautiful.

It doesn't bother me. It's not the kind of beauty I want.

It's all heat on the outside. But I feel numb with cold- inside.

Other people notice it too.
"Your hands are so cold!"
It's said with a laugh... like it's some joke I play.

But if you're cold inside... I suppose it seeps out sometime.

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